– Feature Guest Post by Jim Uttley –
In one of the last Republican candidates’ debates, you’ll recall Senator Marco Rubio went on the attack against the front-runner, Donald Trump. Somewhere in the back-and-forth, a comment was made about hands. Later in the week, Mr. Rubio went a little further in one of his rallys, again referring to the size of Mr.Trump’s hands adding, “You know what they say about the size of a man’s hands….”
In the next debate Mr. Trump came out swinging and instead of just making mention of the senator’s reference to his hands, he let it be known that he has no problem when it comes to the size of his….
Right away the media picked up on this and the conversation quickly turned to a discussion of penis size while at the same time criticizing how low the candidates had stooped in their attempts to gain votes.
Now here’s a question for you. How many of you have not made or at least thought about comparisons while in a locker room or public restroom?
While we men don’t talk publicly amongst ourselves, it’s almost certain that every man reading this knows exactly what both Rubio and Trump were referring to and we could think of a few other comparisons with innuendos referring to our manhood.
Remember the fellow who was given a “pat-down” while going through airport security? His famous response? “Don’t touch my junk.”
While we all know that boys and men think a lot about “their junk,” we may not realize the significance of how we view ourselves is in relationship with our sexual “equipment” and the impact it has on our emotional and spiritual health.
This is very often the case with adult men who are survivors of childhood trauma, especially sexual abuse. They become locked in a time wrap, much like Peter Pan, unable to grow up past the age when their traumatic event happened.
I was sexually assaulted several times when I was ten by my fifteen-year-old roommate. When I questioned him as to why he was doing this to me, his response was “this is how boys get big.” At 15, he was a big football type and from my ten-year-old perspective, when I heard the word “big” I not only thought of his body size but also the size of his genitals which were being forced on me.
Something happened during that year which changed my life forever. For years, I could not get those images and the pain of the assault out of my mind.
In many ways, I became unable to move past that traumatic event. In spite of counseling and much prayer, I wrestled almost daily with who I was as a person, as a man, and with accepting my “manhood” as God created me.
Most men have moved on and aren’t emotionally stuck back at a point in their childhood but for those who still are, I offer this advice.
Atlanta’s Dr. Sam Serio is a Christian counselor, author, speaker and teacher, whose specialty and ministry is in healing sexual hurts (www.healingsexualhurt.com). He gave me some great counsel in dealing with issues of sexual shame.
When feelings of sexual inadequacy and shame overwhelm us, take time to read the Book of Philippians. Serio suggests reading this short epistle through one time, highlighting all the Apostle Paul’s references to “flesh, body, weakness”. Read it a second time, writing down what comes to mind when you see these words.
The flesh is often used in Scripture to refer to our sin nature but Dr. Serio suggests it can also refer to our manhood.
Who we are as male creatures is wrapped up with our manhood. Satan has twisted our thinking telling us that our sexual health depends on the size of our penis. This is a lie from the Enemy. Dr. Serio and many other health professionals know it is not true. Yet the media and society keep telling us otherwise. With God’s Holy Spirit, we must shut out those voices and images.
How men view their manhood is interspersed with how they view themselves in their relationship with their wives and with their peers. While it’s not something we openly talk about, it may be something that you have or are still wrestling with.
We are so much more than the size of our “junk”. What God has made is good and He created you and is satisfied with you, just the way you are. Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise.
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Jim Uttley grew up in Haiti, the son of missionaries. He went on to become a writer and editor of Indian Life, a bi-monthly newspaper for North America’s Indigenous Peoples. A graduate of Moody Bible Institute and Cairn University, he lives with his wife in Winnipeg, Manitoba, and is the father of three grown children and seven grandchildren.
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