5 Things Every Married Man Should Do Around Single Women

A wise man once told me that when I find myself around single women, especially when I find them attractive or interesting, I should mention my wife and family early in the conversation. I have found this advice to be very useful on many occasions.


Fellow husbands, I have found the above advice and the other tips at the bottom to be essential in keeping my marriage healthy and strong. I want my marriage strong and healthy and so should you! In fact, it’s one of your biggest responsibilities in your marriage.

So let’s dig deeper into this subject. Where are some common places where you might run into this scenario? For many of you, it could easily happen at work. You could be starting a new job and find yourself around a lot of nice, new women. When this happens, you have to make the choice to embrace their attention or extinguish it in a friendly way by mentioning your beautiful wife and family. For some of you, you have been working around the same women for some time. You might have had the choice many times to engage in flirty conversation or go out with co-workers after work. If this is you and your wife is at home waiting for you, then it’s time to step back and assess your position as the husband and leader. Take the necessary steps to make your relationship with your wife the most important one again and don’t forget it. Lead gentlemen, lead!

Even though those were just a couple quick examples, I know there are a few of you out there that need to step up your role as a husband. Those examples don’t apply to you? Then consider who you know and talk to at your gym; the grocery store; the local hang out or wherever. These “simple” places could produce difficult relationships that will harm your relationship and love with your wife. Man up and do what needs to be done for your marriage! [TWEET THAT]

Now that I have your attention, here are 5 things every married man should do around single women.


There are very few exceptions for when that ring needs to be off. Operating heavy machinery, swimming in shark infested waters, etc. If you are about to enter a situation that makes you look at your ring and consider if you need it on or not, LEAVE! RUN! GET AWAY FROM THERE! Seriously, get out of that situation, your vows, marriage, children and more depend on those important decisions. (More Here: Luke 16:10 ESV)


A married man in this position would be wise to pick out a couple great and fun photos of him and his wife and keep them displayed at his office or place of work. Pick a time that was fun for two reasons: it will remind you why you love her so much and it will make for a great conversation tool when others, especially women, ask about it. Update the image as needed to keep the people around you knowing your relationship is continuing to grow. Get that picture up this week and extinguish those flames. (More Here: Psalm 119:37 ESV)


Don’t read this the wrong way; I’m not saying to be rude. I’m saying to be careful where your eyes travel and how long they travel for when you are in the presence of an attractive single women. You know that once you engage in the first serious look you have signed the dotted line for more eye trouble. Read more about that “first look” here. Keep it short, keep it decisive and move on. Get back to that image posted at your desk. Go! (More Here: Matthew 5:28 KJV)








If you work around single women, there is no question that conversation will come up. It’s up to you on how you decide to speak with her. You can choose to keep it short and general, you can choose to keep it professional or you can choose to keep it off of those and allow it go places it shouldn’t. Be polite, but very intentional in your conversations. If needed, again, always be ready to bring up something about your wife or family. Pull the pin, aim and distinguish. Safety first. (More Here: Romans 6:13 ESV)


Did I mention anything about talking about your wife in conversation yet? I believe I did, but this last point brings the idea to a firm home. The single women you engage with each day, if you have to, should be no match to your wife and family. Your family should be your first priority wherever you are and with whomever you encounter each day. Yes, each and everyday. Keep it short, keep it simple and mention your beautiful wife. Now pat yourself on the back and keep it up. (More Here:  Ephesians 5:25-33 ESV) 

[IMPORTANT NOTE] Oh, and no matter what you have done with your current relationships with single women, these steps can and should be started at anytime. Your wife’s feelings are and will always be more important then the woman you need to take these steps with. Get on it!

STEP UP even more in your marriage by reading my new book
‘The Marriage Advance”. Get your copy HERE today!

I challenge you to take these bold steps for you, your marriage and your family. Again, it’s your responsibility to LEAD!

List one of your own tips and let’s help out our fellow husbands!

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  • Charles Johnston

    Totally agree with the list especially the mention wife tactic. As far as other tips, guard your words and actions and imagine your wife there, what would she think of those words coming out of your mouth. The idea of what she does not know won’t hurt her is the lies of the devil in your ear.

    • Great addition to the post Charles.

      6) Guard your Words
      7) Imagine your Wife there with you

      I agree with the last statement. We reap what we sow and our actions will rear their ugly head one way or another. Thanks for adding this.

    • Rudhiah Rohani

      Very true to the last sentence. Lies or hidings will eventually be in the open (or caught) and will cause a lot of heartache.

  • Chris Perry

    Great read! Also, two great additions. I’d like to just add if it isn’t already obvious, that this should also go for non face to face conversations. Either via online, texting, or e-mail. I feel a personal conversation shouldn’t ever reach these external conversations in the first place. PUT THE FIRE OUT EARLY.

    • You are right on brother! Technology makes it so easy to get in trouble, but we must stand firm. Accountability with another brother is key to success in that area and all the others above. Thanks for adding!

    • Rudhiah Rohani

      I agree wholeheartedly to this. My husband think it was ok to keep in touch with his girl friends. He says there is no harm done. I kept advising him to be careful not to lead any of them on because women tend to have feelings to men who give them extra attentions. He is doing this behind my back. When i found out, it broke me to pieces. Firstly, he does not trust me, when we agreed to be open on such matters. Secondly, he is hiding things, meaning the msgs he is having the girls are not so innocence type.

  • Hannah Anderson

    I really like that this article offers men sound and practical advise about promoting to others the happiness and importance of the marriage relationship. Many married men do have single women in their lives that would take any friendly attention the wrong way, and not necessarily with evil intentions, even if that attention was in Christ-like love. However, as a single woman reading this article, it does seem to present a “women as predatory” attitude. While that may not have been the intent, I would love to see a companion article (or edit) to this that discusses the role married men have as leaders in the community to promote strong family values, which is a responsibility that should be taken seriously, and in balance, which I believe requires more intimacy than is allowed for here – unless you think married men should neglect the opportunities presented to witness on a deeper and more meaningful level than just declaring the strength of one’s own marriage. As a single women, I look to my happily married friends, both men and women, for an example and for guidance in my own life. If the married men that I know weren’t willing to engage in such conversations with me, I would be the worse for it.

    • Hannah, first off, thank you for taking the time to read the article and share your thoughts. I can appreciate the fact that you found the points to be useful in keeping marriages strong. I also like the fact that you engage with married couples, both the man and the woman, to find out more about marriage. It makes sense for married couples to teach and help singles in their relationships and in their future marriage endeavors.

      In regards to the predatory statement, please understand that the intent of the article was to not diminish the value of women in any way; instead it was to make men aware of their actions around women other than their wife. At many points in the article I mention to not be rude, to be polite and to be professional to all women.

      In closing, I don’t plan to make any edits to the article. The context of the article is complete and works. I will consider your other ideas for future articles. Thank you again for adding your thoughts!

      • Robert

        As a tip for Hannah, When you find yourself with men or even one man, always remember that there are two points of view from the man. He’s either a predator or a protector. He could be a predator hiding behind a protector’s image. So just engage meaningful conversation with men protectors and you won’t have any problem.

      • Sam

        I do not believe that Hannah implied she only seeks advice about marriage from her married friends but that she looks to them as individuals and as a couple to be an example in all ways.
        I could have misrepresented her here.
        If I did I apologise but I do believe this is a key thought for all people. To be an inspirational person outside of the defined role as ‘husband’ or ‘wife’. Some single people never intend to marry and, as Paul said, this is not a bad thing.

  • Matt

    What about, what married women should do around SINGLE MAN….

    • Thanks Matt. There is definitely discussion going on about the type of relationship you mentioned and others types as well. I hope to have them out in the near future.

  • Lindsay

    Married men with an *attraction*
    to a single woman should definitely do all of this and FLEE to keep his mind pure, cut off temptation, etc. (and vice versa would be true, as well). However, as a single woman, this article made me sad. It put shame on me for wanting healthy friendships with the people in my life (believe me, at my age of 33, all of my co-workers and friends are married), and felt accusatory: “Men, beware of the single women!” I have great relationships with the men I work with at my church (all of whom are married) and my friends’ husbands. They are healthy, normal, pure, loving, Christ-honoring friendships. These men have helped me with a car problem, offered to install a flood light on my back porch, hooked up a router for my internet. I’ve traveled with them on missions trips, I’ve sought their counsel on big decisions I’ve had to make, and I share meals with them and their families. We are brothers and sisters in Christ and need healthy relationships with one another.

    • Lindsay, thank you for sharing your thoughts. Your first statement was the main point of the article. For many men, they do not consider their marriage the most important relationship and believe its “okay to look, but not touch”. This is of course wrong, and my goal was to make men aware of those facts and provide tools for keeping their marriage relationship safe and strong.

      I apologize if this article was accusatory in any way. That was not the intent. See above paragraph again.

      Finally, I think it is great that you have good relationships with married couples, including the men. You must keep in mind that you are talking about married couples who are your close friends. You have built a trust with both spouses, which allows for more personal connections. Personally, without that trust already built, my wife wouldn’t let me do any of your examples if she knew I was alone with another woman.Trust can certainly change things, but the married man must still be careful. Through all of this, we can still have healthy relationships. Thank you again for adding your thoughts.

      • Lindsay

        Thanks for your kind reply, Bryan.
        Yes, trust definitely makes a HUGE difference, as well as the fact that in my circle of friends and co-workers, we are all Christians (as opposed to a secular workplace, where it is probably much more difficult). And yes, it would be inappropriate for you to do those tasks without your wife present, even if trust has been built.
        I think I reacted strongly because it’s hard enough to build friendships when my age and stage in life don’t match. I want to feel like a part of the family at church, and that’s very, very difficult as a “older” single. So, I’m thankful for the couples who’ve included me in their lives, including the married men in our group who make eye contact and hold meaningful conversations with me.

        • Leo

          I agreed with your initial thoughts, too. I dislike the idea that as a married man (married for one year), I now have to act differently. I think friends are friends, and I’ve never let the boundaries be crossed by myself or anyone else. I think people should be the same people they were before they were married…as long as everything is above board

          • Lauren Varnadore

            Well said, Leo.

          • Rhemma Payne

            I respectfully disagree with your comment as I don’t think the focus should be on “acting different” rather a process of maturity. Marriage comes with a great deal of responsibility and I believe that is one of his major points. There are probably a number of things you do differently now, than when you were 16, so I look at this article in a similar way. This is not by any means recommending you change your personality, but rather be more aware of yourself around vulnerabilities. You aren’t necessarily changing but perhaps guarded certain interactions.

            I think another key aspect that people who aren’t receiving this article well are not pointing out is that he is mentioning “attractiveness” as a key component. I would say most of our guards, single or married, are less guarded around people we have no physical or personal attraction to, because there is no temptation, but he specifically pointed out those women that were attractive to the husband and making sure that in those situations you don’t set yourself up to fail. The biggest misconception I think I see in people when they get married they expect to never see attractive people again, which is so untrue, in my opinion. The commitment of marriage is not saying you will never be attracted to anyone else ever again, but rather a commitment to uphold vows and guard your heart and eyes so that you remain devoted to one person. This is why openness and trust, as I believe Lindsay mentioned is extremely important. I take this article to raise the question of when you do encounter those attractive people (who are not your spouse) what are you going to do?

          • Leslie


    • Fr-Joseph Faulkner

      Lindsay, I’m glad you said this. When I clicked the link to this I actually thought (what was I thinking?!) it’d be about married men taking and using the gifts they have of solid, stable family life and using that to “safely” affirm the single women they work with. Instead, it was nearly the opposite. Now, I realize that this was written for the men, and this us try to help them when they are tempted to let their minds wander wrongly, but it comes at the cost of implying that single women (who are often serious fans of virtue and fidelity in men because they long for that someday in their lives) are dangerous, even if just to the man’s mind. My first thought was, “I want to write a blog post on this, not disagreeing with the instructions but to say, ‘Yes, get your head on right, talk up your wife and kids, show you are stable, and then be free, stable, and generous enough to affirm and love these women who already perhaps suffer loneliness, feeling left behind, or cut out of the circles of the married. That can be done chastely.'” The men I know who most possess a familial love are the ones most likely to let others feel that too. Frankly, my experience in marriage counseling has been that more often it’s two married people commiserating about the trials of spouse and family that is the spark and powder keg of mental (and other) infidelity. The single woman doesn’t need to be treated as a waiting-in-the-wings home wrecker. She needs to be affirmed that just because she isn’t married yet doesn’t mean she’s unlovable, dangerous, or a social reject. And if a man can’t do that yet because of his own weakness, fine. Get your act together now, but don’t drive them down because you haven’t figured out how to a *publicly* married man yet.

      • Joseph, thank you for adding your thoughts and reply. I feel it would not be wise of me to say to much in response since you suggested that you are a marriage counselor, you know the state of marriage and the problems most likely much better than myself. I do, however, feel your choice of words were much more extreme than what was represented in the article. “Social reject”, “dangerous”, “home wrecker”, etc… The conversation between Lindsay and myself went back and forth in a very respectful manner, and she agreed to my comments once there was a better understanding of the point of the article.

        I do agree that married men need to be respectful of other women. I felt I portrayed that in the article when using phrases such as “don’t be rude”, “keep it professional”. Those attitudes express a married man who is publicly able to handle himself around other women.

        In closing, I believe this article has already helped many men and marriages that might have been in trouble. May we all not forget that. If you feel there is much more to the process in dealing with single women as you say, I would be willing to work with you on a possible future article. If interested, lets take this offline and use the Contact page at the top right corner. Thank you again for expressing your thoughts.

        • Lauren Varnadore

          Bryan, as a single, attractive Christian woman, I can tell you that his choice of words was not extreme.

    • me

      I kept trying to figure out why it said “single” women when there are plenty of married women willing to flirt etc It should apply to ALL women.

      • Thank you for sharing and I do agree. Married men should be cautious around all women that are not their wife. Some more then others. I do agree that this applies to married women as well, and I hope to have another post out soon that deals specifically with the relationship of married men to married women. I believe there are some different factors to apply in that type of relationship.

        • Wade Fair

          I feel that this should be married people! I am happily married and have been for 10 years. I have lots of friends that aren’t and are and I feel this applies to both men and women they both flirt. If the other person is married or not you should have the self control to do all the above, because that is what being married is all about! This is a no brainer for those that are in a good relationship, but men flirt with married women as well, my wife have men that are extra nice to her at work because she is a woman and maybe could use a “little help” even with her wedding ring on! It is how she chooses to handle the situation that changes the outcome.

        • Wade Fair

          I feel that this should be married people! I am happily married and have been for 10 years. I have lots of friends that aren’t and are and I feel this applies to both men and women they both flirt. If the other person is married or not you should have the self control to do all the above, because that is what being married is all about! This is a no brainer for those that are in a good relationship, but men flirt with married women as well, my wife have men that are extra nice to her at work because she is a woman and maybe could use a “little help” even with her wedding ring on! It is how she chooses to handle the situation that changes the outcome.

        • seriously?!

          So, basically… men can’t manage to keep it in their pants and women can’t help but seduce them!

          Be careful, men! The women are all out to get you and ruin your marriage!

          • Kelly Moore

            Some can’t and some are!

          • MrDorrit

            That’s a fair response. If I may, these are things I do to keep ME focused. No assumptions about other people.

        • Mo

          Thank you! This is such a critical message that BOTH genders must take into consideration. I see so many male-bashing posts on social networks that my head spins. I have personally known women who have either cheated on their husbands, stolen from their husbands, flirted with other men (single and married) while married to their husbands, even leave their husbands for another man who is either married, or single, or in a crumbling relationship. Men are not exempt from feelings and emotions, no more or less than woman are, and women are not exempt from desires of cheating no more or less than men are. I think, (IMO) that one of the greatest things marital relationships suffer from other than financial stress, and infidelity issues, is the never ending changing roles of genders that stemmed from the women’s lib movement. Men, in today’s society, no longer know what their roles are, and are being shredded to pieces by domineering power-playing and manipulative women who have practically emasculated a man’s sense of belonging and identity in a relationship. Nevertheless, if there is one thing that cannot, nor ever will be changed, it will be a man’s innate desire and ability to procreate in this world naturally!

    • Alden Johnson

      I was initially surprised at your reaction to Bryan’s post. From my perspective as a 66-year old man, Bryan’s thoughts weren’t directed toward women, so I thought it strange that you would place shame on yourself “for wanting healthy friendships.” I saw and see nothing in Bryan’s post that should engender such feelings on your part. His advice would also apply to women if he were writing to them, but there apparently is a rather significant difference in the ways that men and women enter in to friendships, relationships; i.e., men are acutely visual creatures when assessing the visage of a woman who arrives within his visual space. Without proper guidelines and safeguards, we men are like moths drawn to a light/flies to honey, and the scriptures are replete with warnings about how dangerous liaisons develop. I’ll spare you a Bible study on the subject, but suffice it to say that the Psalmist, Solomon, Job, Jesus and Paul gave stark warnings to men specifically about men’s vulnerability through his eyes. Peter mentions guidance for women, although not specifically about their eyes. Although women are likely capable of going down a pathway of lust that begins with the eyes, I haven’t encountered anything in the workplace in my experience where women are mesmerized by visual images of Chippendales hanging around the walls of their office, but the reverse is true about men’s work spaces, unless there is an institutional prohibition, which often there is, and rightfully so. My hat’s off to Bryan for encouraging men to recognize the inherent vulnerability God has created in us, that can lead to lust, sin, sorrow, heartbreak, destruction of families, and divorce.

      • Rhemma Payne

        I agree! I am a single woman and loved this article and passed along to other single women. I took no offense to this article and rather found encouragement from it!

      • Alden, thank you for adding your thoughts. I appreciate your insight, confirmation and wisdom.

      • leslie

        Alden, I agree with most of what you have written except for one thing “My hat’s off to Bryan for encouraging men to recognize the inherent vulnerability God has created in us,…” God hasn’t created this vulnerability in us, it was our “Great Fall” that created it. 🙂

        • Alden Johnson

          Leslie, I’m not certain that we’ll be able to fully agree on this subject, but I’ll try a different approach to explain what I mean by ‘the inherent vulnerability God has created in us.’ We don’t get very far in the narrative in Genesis, when Satan provides a situation that exploits Eve’s inherent vulnerabilities in emotions and succumbs to his apparently persuasive abilities. I suspect that most biblical scholars (of which I don’t pretend to be) consider this pivotal exchange the precursor to ‘the fall.’ For my purposes that’s where I’ll begin. When Satan approached Eve, his appearance was apparently striking and his persuasive presentation of ‘the facts’ led Eve to abandon the explicit command God had provided in favor of this impostor’s enticing words. I think it’s fair to say that she was created with certain vulnerabilities; being deceived was one of them. The consequences of being deceived led to profound ramifications alluded to by Paul as well, not “just” ‘the fall.’ Following Eve’s disobedience/rejection of God’s sovereign authority, as you know, she offered the ‘forbidden fruit’ to Adam. Although it’s not explicitly stated, it doesn’t look like Adam’s vulnerability was identical, since Satan didn’t cleverly convince him through subtle deception. The fact that he was willing to disobey when presented with the temptation indicates to me that he was also vulnerable before ‘the fall.’ When God questioned Eve about her acquiescence, she blamed Satan for deceiving her, unwilling to accept responsibility for her actions/disobedience. After Adam accepted the offer from Eve, God turned His attention from Eve and confronted Adam, who promptly blamed Eve, and then had the temerity to blame God Himself for giving Eve to him as his wife! This pattern of mankind to defer responsibility to someone else has been repeated ad nauseum ever since. The New Testament writer John also refers to these temptations/vulnerabilities as “the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the boastful pride of life.” I don’t wish to be dogmatic or unnecessarily argumentative, but it seems to me that God has indeed created us with inherent vulnerabilities. He created us to need/be dependent on Him for relationship and the power to resist Satan’s temptations, as well as our own proclivities after the fall. The fact that we are unable to avoid disobedience against God (sin) in our own resources prevents us from entering into a relationship with God/becoming born again/children of God, unless and until God moves in our ‘heart’ to make us aware of our need for Him. If and after we have become His children, we are frequently guilty of disobeying His commands or falling short of His glory, and need our fellowship restored through our confession (acknowledgment) of our sin(s).

          • ray nassar

            Alden, very nice, but, (respectfully) very boring uninspired and NORMAL. Please know I do not criticize in saying this. My strange sense of humor. No, you see,that is not what happened in the garden. We see the great love story here. And by the way that beguiled is used instead of simply deceive, from exapatao and deleazo, this is a complete and thorough deception, from before their meeting. There was a predatory element here, and the target of course was Adam, through Eve. We must forget the men and women of today, and all trhe teachings of psychology philosophy etc because thehy are from a dying world and have nothing to do with God. We cannot have an understanding in this way. Just look simply and see. Who is Eve? She is the one who removed the loneliness that Adam suffered from. She was the perfect(o I have a great joke about that too) companion, and understood Adam in ways that no one else could. Adam’s recharger had broken so he was not spending much time with his devices, and became so close with Eve, it would be difficult for some to imagine . How awesome and powerful thsi relationship was. Think about it men, don’;t be insulted, but men have been falling out for decades Adam was not thios type of man, and his love for Eve is essential in understanding this. When Eve was beguiled this was from a very powerful cold calculating weaver of images, thought, and feeling. Eve was no match, and she entered into death. Adam quickly looked through the ads from other woman, and(oh sorry that was on the other earth…)I finish here because I am hungry. You can answer now what happened. Adam in no way was going to allow Eve to go off into death by herself. HE IN NO HESITATION WENT WITH HER because he LOVED HER and this is the greeat love story and expression from the garden showing us what we woukld be hearing thousands of years later, about what a man and what a woman is supposed to do and that a man must surrender his life(I know all about the symbolic appplication dont fight this) remember there is a consistent thread throughout the word on these essential elements of our relationships with God and each other. LOVE is what it is all about, ADAM was PROACTIVE in that moment, about EVE he was NOT going to allow her top be by herself in this thing that he knew nothing about.WQhen we can open our minds to God’s wanti9ng us to see the necessity of love through all things, then we can put a few of the teachings aside and receive the living word form our creator who IS love and has filtered into all our cells this undeniable element. God bless,

    • LT

      Lindsay, I am 150% with you, girl!! I am 36 & single. I work as a nurse part time & on staff at a church part time. The article made me sad in every way that you listed. I have nothing more to add to what you said. Thank you for your voice!

    • monimillie33

      “In Christ” is the TRULY operative phrase here….

    • Taj Khan

      Hi I need married am single

    • christina

      Lindsey (fellow sister in christ) I am a married woman and have dealt with small tempting ( innocent seeming) and large in my face betrayal before with my husband.I think the only thing that is trying to be conveyed in this article is what the true intention is of a person’s heart male or female and for the woman to try and put themselves in the spouses shoes( wife )not every woman is out to get the husbands attention i know but men are very vulnerable and it doesn’t take much to trip them up at times.for the Christian man who is trying to walk with the Lord it is crazy how well satan knows how to tailor make the prime holes for him to fall into. the only thing I can recommend from my point of view is as long as you are being considerate of the wife keeping everything upfront and open nothing ever hidden or implied … God will know your heart and that’s all that matters. just keep being who you are and God will honor that. Unfortunately not every female is with good/ pure intentions like you seem to be. this article is directed towards those who do not have the same views as you seem to have. we should never take something too personally if we know we have not ever done the things that people are claiming.if you read the whole article it really focuses on just teaching the man to have a heightened sensitivity towards his wife when he behaves a certain way to a another woman always be sure to be fair to both women remembering how much his wife takes priority and not putting himself out there for the opposite woman causing her to potentially stumble as well .remember Lindsey sin never comes at us with a trumpet announcing his name he sneaks in with the best disguise he could come up with looking like the :best of intentions”. so my final encouragement to you re: your concerns about this posting geared at the single woman. if you have been married you understand what it’s like to be in the wifes shoes and how men struggle if you have not been I promise you “ADAM” fell to “EVE” (SIN) in the beginning of time…not much has changed,he still struggles even though he may be trying to wholeheartedly walk with God today or walk in the garden with God all those years ago…

      • Binta Sylla

        I totally agree with what you are saying. Not always knowing how to strike the balance of supporting couples is never caring for single women either. I think it’s just the way we are wired. Marriage is for men. God created the woman out of man’s need. And Satan continues to vehemently tear away at this very basic union sanctioned by the One True God. God understands that it’s difficult for all of us. Your comment is also very reassuring, to hear coming from a woman/wife. I personally have put an enormous amount of energy trying to help assuage insecurities that I can’t be responsible for: men’s weakness. All I can do is pray for a pure heart and deflect the conflict that arises from couples when behavior prompting this article arises. And I think, when emotion isn’t involved, all would agree. Thankfully, there’s lots of scriptural accounts to reflect on in how imperfection gets the best of all of us in this regard, hopefully creating patience.

    • Thomas Anderson

      It comes down to knowing yourself and your weaknesses Lindsey. Admitting those weaknesses to those close to you keeps accountability at the forefront where it should be. Its so easy to flirt with disaster, I know, because I have been there. Having healthy relationships with people at church and going on missions when there are always other people around to keep everyone accountable is one thing, but the church is full of adulterers just as the world is. We have to take other peoples walks into consideration before we do things. We have to ask ourselves that if I do this, will it make them stumble? We have to lead everyone in our lives toward Christ, in all we do and say. I am divorced, and I work at my church, but I never look any “single” woman in the eyes too long, because Christ is their husband and they are not called by God to be mine. I treat them with the utmost respect, as Christ has called me. Being that my weakness is lust, I have to be very careful, so that I will not stumble. You think it’s possible for a man to “keep his mind pure” in the world we live in? It’s not. Men are constantly bombarded with porn through TV, Media, Internet, and advertising. It’s EVERYWHERE and it’s impossible to get away from it totally. A man has to give himself to God DAILY and let his old self die for strength and hope that he can get through the day unaffected by the bombardment. Couple all that with having to work with ladies around you and keep your mind pure is terrible difficult, it takes a ton of self discipline and giving all impure thoughts to God, right then and there. But, how many Christian men actually do this? No very many. I have too, so that one day, I will be blessed with a new wife. But until then, I will fight for purity, even in singleness.

    • Shay719

      Wow you literally are soooo on point and I am SO glad you brought these valuable facts to light as a fellow early 30’s female who has to inevitably primarily interact with many married friends and co-workers alike without needing any unhealthy involvement nor should be the case….are there always going to potentially be those exceptions when married individuals feel the need to venture out (as well as unhealthy single individuals that get kicks out of conquering a married/involved person) yes absolutely unfortunately but I for one don’t like to think that it has to be like that as long as both parties have a mutual trust and respect for those boundaries. We are not predators we are completely capable of normal healthy relationships with individuals of all kinds.

  • None of this seems bold; it seems like plainly sensible advice—this coming from someone without religious (or “spiritual”) commitments. A couple other ideas:

    (8) Leave the door open (or meet somewhere where you are publicly visible).
    (9) Never meet one-to-one in a paradigmatically date-like settings.
    (10) Before offering a ride to a single woman, call your spouse to ask/inform.

    • CLARA

      i like the statement in no. 10. if a married man will offer a ride to a single woman (his colleague) without even telling his wife..it will definitely shows that he’s lying to his wife and there’s something wrong going on.

      • Rudhiah Rohani

        I agree. If theres nothing going on, theres nothing to hide.

    • Great points Nick. Thank you for sharing!

    • Sarah

      My husband works in a predominately female workplace and he always texts or calls to let me know when a group is going to lunch. He texted today to let me know who he was with. I trust him so it feels silly for him to do it but he says it keeps him accountable and he will know when something crosses the line if he hesitates to tell me.

      He is also really good at introducing me to all of the coworkers he talks to regularly when I visit him.

      • Rhemma Payne

        That’s so awesome to hear! Thanks for sharing this!

    • AshleeBee

      My husband calls and tells me even if giving another man a ride just so I’ll know he’s off work and will be a bit late. If he is going to go out to eat with his friends or going to stay at his friends house to play video games then he calls to make sure I don’t need him (or that I don’t already have him supper waiting) and so I’ll know he’ll be awhile.

  • godie castro

    Totally agree. ……..

  • Nhật Linh

    In general this article is
    right and useful, but infact sometimes men couldn’t do like that. They can not
    keep their wife or their children in their mind and tell about them to you any
    time, morever in some cases they should avoid telling about their family ,
    specially in their office.

    • Thanks for sharing. I agree that not every situation calls for this particular method. Every husband has the responsibility to make the proper judgment call for each scenario.

  • Amang

    Marry a beautiful woman.

    I’ve yet to meet anybody more beautiful than my wife. 🙂

    • Thanks for sharing Amang and keep it up!

  • Amang

    I also avoid the company of beautiful women–and I tell them why.

  • Martin Wong

    I don’t know if this was mentioned but one thing I always ask myself in any situation, and my wife isn’t there, is this: “Is what I am about to do or where I am about to go something I feel comfortable sharing with my wife?” If the answer is no then I walk away.

    • Love it! Thank you for adding this point Martin. You are exactly right!

  • Mark Haughton

    I say the same applies if the women are single or married. No difference there.

    • Thanks for sharing Mark and I do agree. I am working on another post that deals more specifically to married women as well.

  • Gwenz Merencilla

    Thanks for this article. I posted and shared this with my officemates.
    One strict personal policy I’ve kept in my friendship esp. with married men is that I always tell them “I cannot be friends with you if I am not friends with your wife”. So far, it has worked well for me and my friends, and I am closer with their wives. God bless everyone.

    • Great strategy Gwenz! Thank you for sharing.

    • Rhemma Payne

      Such a great idea Gwenz about your stance on being friends with their wives! Awesome!

  • Julian de Sota

    ..bring your wife, if possible, to conferences that last for a week. she also deserves to see nice and beautiful places.

  • Leo

    I don’t really agree with this. As long you can control your own mind and your actions, you don’t ever have to worry. Rules won’t really stop a weak mind, either.

    • Leo, thanks for sharing brother. I read your comment above as well and realize you are a newlywed. Friendships before marriage should be a topic of conversation with your wife. If she is cool with you still engaging with other women with her not around, then you are good to go. But as a husband now, your main responsibility is to her and not the other women. And yes, you must be able to control your own mind and know when boundaries are needed or not.
      The real test in marriages are time. The first few years, in my opinion, are easy. You’re still living off the honeymoon high. That is great until you start having little disagreements that build up, start a job that puts you around beautiful women or place yourself around friends that don’t have a wife to be responsible for. When faced with these moments or something similar, then you will be tested and tempted. And when you are there, you may just need these tools mentioned above. Time will tell brother. I pray your marriage stays focused on God.

  • wan

    Great Ideas.. Àwesome Tips: said no men Ever

  • kennyputo

    cant really help it when the chick is the one who eyeing u….

    • Kenny, ultimately your actions are still your responsibility. AND your responsibility is to your wife, NOT the woman who is “eyeing” you up. Diffuse the situation in a mature and respectful manner, or just get out of there. Thanks for adding your thoughts.

  • Guest

    I would add that this should not just apply to single women, but all women. Just because someone is married does not mean attraction can’t still form between them, indeed, isn’t that the point of this article? I think making it about all women would be less accusatory towards single women, indeed, this is all the more important so that those who are single don’t feel even more alienated.

    • Elizabeth McGuire

      This is alienating single woman. I dont agree with this. As a single Christian Woman I find it hard to hard to integrate and have genuine conversation with people without all this going on. I spot it a mile off. It’s like we have a problem. Being a single woman is not a plague. It’s a gift.

      • Elizabeth, please read my comment above to “guest” and also to a few other women I have commented back to. In no way was this post trying to diminish the value of women, instead it was meant to make men aware of their actions around single women. With the divorce rate so high, more men need to be aware of the importance of their marriage and what actions will help them protect it.
        As I said above as well, future posts will deal with other relationships which, I hope, help you realize my intent was not to alienate single women. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

    • I can agree with your comment. This article was written in the context of a married man to single women. In the near future, other articles will engage specifically in other relationships. Married man to married women, single man to single women, married women to single men, etc… I hope that will help you better appreciate and understand why it was written this way.
      I apologize if you felt this was post was accusatory in any way. It was specifically written to married men to help them keep their marriage strong and healthy. I have explained this in a few other comments with women as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  • Ento Tonce

    It was completely open-minded when read the article above. Sometimes, something goes to the wrong direction just because of our own words, action and close interaction around single women. Sins do not happen or come from outside. it can happen as long as we give the chance for sins.

    • Amen. Thanks for sharing Ento.

  • cybervincey

    Bluntly say… I’m happily married then smile and do all the rest of your whatever list. Some, not all, some single women even prize to have a married man and will do at nothing to get that prize. Make sure its written all over your forehead – I’m claimed and i am taken!

    • Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.

  • Anon, I am sorry to hear about your situation. I pray things will work out for your marriage. Keep praying for your husband and your marriage. Be humble to God and ask for His direction in the relationship. And yes, it is for these type of situations that I wrote this post. I believe many men and marriages are benefiting from the simple truths in the article.

  • marcelino

    I totally dis agree with everything he said except “man up and do whatever you can for your marriage

    • Although I respect your disagreement, I am curious on what you would suggest men to do or how to “man up” based off the context of the article. Either way, thanks for reading.

  • Lee Francois

    Great article

  • JT

    as far as work settings go, I am generally a lot more private than the average person that I work with. I am very selective about who I share what with and what I actually share. Not that I have anything to hide, I just find people in the work place often intrusive and sometimes downright nosey. LOL.
    However, I do get the point of these 5 Things…List.

    • Sounds like a solid method to use in the workplace. Keep up the work in your marriage and thanks for adding your thoughts (Good to hear from you again)

  • LisaPreston

    I don’t like articles like this that reduce a man to some weak-minded boy without the ability to have mature friendships with normal women.
    Men are not slaves to their libido, they are adults with responsibilities and commitments. By cheating on your wife, you not only dishonour her, you diminish yourself.
    Being a good man is not some monumental task!
    As a man, you know what types of situations to avoid, and what kind of woman to steer clear of.
    If at some point you find yourself tempted strongly to engage in extramarital experiences, then it’s time to sit down with your wife and talk about it. Believe me – she will appreciate your maturity and willingness to work on whatever weaknesses in your marriage need shoring up.

    • Prophet George W Bush PBUH

      No offense, but have you ever been a man? Even worse, have you ever been an American man? We have sexualized images shoved in our faces every single day. Youd think you could go to church to get a reprieve, but you can’t. Im a worship leader. I’ve had to stand on stage and lead a congregation in worship with a girl on the front row with 44 DDs wearing only a white tank top and a camel toe you could ride to Bethlehem on. That wasn’t exactly a situation I could avoid. I did everything I could to ignore her, close my eyes and lead God’s people. Im not saying that Im not responsible for anything I do with the image of her that was drawn in my head but for crying out loud man, WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS NOT SOME MONUMENTAL TASK TO BE A GOOD MAN? As a man of God, I couldn’t help but walk out of church that day feeling that I had let God down because of the distraction. I agree that we aren’t slaves to our libido but you make it sound like its a cakewalk, its NOT.

      • Rhemma Payne

        I have to agree here. I’ve served as a leader on a mission trip to India, where as women we had to wear their traditional clothing as to not offend the nationals. This consisted of being covered up head to toe basically. I remember having a heart to heart with the teen guys on my trip during our relationship talk sessions and just hearing from these young men the tons of temptations they face on a regular basis, it broke my heart for them. I knew these guys hearts, because they shared how hard it was to guard their eyes, and in case I didn’t believe them, as we returned to the states (two months later) I remember being in the airport and seeing all the skin and revealing clothing that for two months they had not seen. I felt culture shock, but I think I got a glimpse of how hard their walk of purity is. I don’t think it is easier to be a Christian woman, as we definitely have our struggles, but I do tend to believe that the enemy has a specific plan of destruction for our men (different than how he attacks us) because with the men, goes the family, and we have tons of young boys growing up with fathers because of this calculated attack on the men! I commend every man who is trying to do the right thing and who has accountability!! I’m praying that we as women can become more understanding of the spiritual war we are facing and lift husbands, to-be husbands, and every young male up in prayer!!!

      • suzie30

        Now you know why muslims ask women to wear loose clothing and head coverings.
        They understand how strong sexuality is especially from the perspective of the man. It is not an attempt to enslave women.
        Western women need to be taught how powerful their sexuality is. We are not taught anything. Instead we call men perverts when we expose our cleavage and they look at it.
        Or when we wear tight jeans and they look at our butts.

      • Amy Jones

        I read this and can only feel sad for both you and for her. She was standing in front of you, and you were leading worship, and all you noticed about her was the size of her breasts and the fact that her pants fit poorly… a fact which you mock. Who was she? What had she come to worship to do that morning? Who was she hoping to find? What was hurting her that morning or what was she feeling relief about? Your problem is not that you can’t stop seeing women’s body parts, your problem is you can’t actually see the women that they are a part of. The next time you notice a “camel toe you could ride to Bethlehem on”, look at her face and wonder about her as a person. Try to see her for more than just the body parts that she possesses. Don’t ignore her, look at HER.

    • Alden Johnson

      Lisa, with all due respect, I politely beg to differ with you. Although I agree that “men are not (or at least should not be) slaves to their libido, [and] they are adults with responsibilities and commitments…Being a good man is not some monumental task!” Actually, it’s much more than that; it’s an impossible task! Apart from the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling and enabling a man to resist the inordinate number of visual lures that bombard us 24/7, we are an ‘accident waiting for a place to happen.’ Don’t take it from me, Jesus said it pretty succinctly: “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” Nothing but stagger from one sin to the next. Just reflect on the number of men (and some women) in full-time ministry over the past twenty-plus years whose lives, marriages, reputations, and ministries have been destroyed due to sexual sin, each of which began with an ‘innocent look.’ By the way, we are not “reduced” to “some weak-minded boy without the ability to have mature friendships with normal women” by articles such as this. We start out and remain weak-minded due to the powerful temptations placed in our paths by Satan, and we fail to avail ourselves of the power God offers us through His Holy Spirit to resist temptation. Often the tools he uses are improperly attired, flirty, coquettish women, who sometimes like to take on the challenge of ‘taking down’ a man, single or married, just for the fun of it. But such momentary pleasures of sin exact a very high price.

      • Guest

        Yes lets just blame Satan for our inability to control ourselves. Listening to excuses being made here I’m more and more convinced I married the perfect MAN. He doesn’t make excuses he just doesn’t do anything he’d need an excuse for because he is a grown man who knows right from wrong. If just looking at a woman causes you to cheat then it’s not God’s fault or Satan’s it’s your own for acting like a child. God and Satan are just crutches…many non religious men have more control of themselves without crutches than religious men have with them. Grow up, keep your eyes and hands to yourself and keep your pants on and all will be fine. In kindergarten when we couldn’t behave we were told to sit on our hands…maybe you should still do that?

        • DD

          Maybe the married couple can help facilitate some appropriate matchups for these single women, that could be a win-win if it worked out and even if it didn’t go anywhere it would still be a helpful gesture.

  • Lauren Varnadore

    Well shoot. This foils all of my evil single-girl plans. And the office was the best scene for Husband Thievery. Now those guys will see right through me!

  • Alma

    Just keep it in your pants FFS it’s not rocket science!

  • Amy Jones

    Putting up pictures of your wife and mentioning them in conversation is not going to prevent you from having an affair. What WILL protect you from infidelity is maintaining a deep intimacy with your spouse… the kind of intimacy where you want to put up pictures because looking at a picture of them helps you not miss them so much, the kind of intimacy where they are so much a part of you that not talking about them would severely restrict the things you could talk about. Another thing that will protect you from infidelity, realizing that the person you might be attracted to is a person, and not an object to provide sexual gratification – that you are not in a position to be able to meet the needs they have in a romantic situation. Basically, emotional maturity and committed intimacy. Arbitrary rules for behavior (limit eye contact? weird) only objectify. Lets focus instead on creating the types of intimacy the Jesus wants from us in each relationship.

  • Suzie Q

    In our culture today, this article should be addressed to men regarding women, whether they are single or married. There are many single AND married women who are looking for comfort from a man other than their husbands. From “14 Secrets to a Better Marriage” by Dave Earley (2011) – “I will never be alone with another woman other than my wife in any setting, at any time, for any reason. I will never share my personal or emotional feelings with any woman other than my wife . . . ” (p.121).

  • Diane

    Brian I know first hand what happens when a married man doesn’t follow these simple tips. At first it is just talking, then flirting and sending jokes to each other via e-mail. Before they even realize it, they’ve crossed the line and have no intention of turning back. It is exactly like a Casting Crowns song says, a slow fade. Your article was right on as far as I’m concerned. The single women that have not liked your article because they are friends with married couples need to realize that lines get crossed among the closest friends unfortunately. If a single woman needs anything from a married man then his wife should ALWAYS be included. Satan uses the smallest things to tempt us into the big things.

    • Great points Diane, thanks for sharing.

    • Rhemma Payne

      These are my thoughts exactly Diane! I liked your reference to the song “slow fade”. I don’t think many people plan on cheating on their spouse, but it is a slow fade.

  • Hi Bryan,

    Thanks for your work on this; I’m sure it was very challenging knowing the obvious sensitivity of the subject. In general I sort of understand the motivations behind your points, but there’s one big problem I have with the emphasis of this article. I don’t think that this “formula” reflects the life of the most important Person we must consider: Jesus Christ.

    In Luke especially, a book you even reference, you encounter Jesus being with women all over the place. One could make the argument that He is God, and therefore didn’t ever have to be concerned with sinning at all, let alone around women. However, since He is also 100% human and experienced life exactly as we do, I can’t say that I find encouragement from Scripture to be stiff and uptight around single or married women. If you struggle with doing the wrong thing in any of the areas you outline, that’s YOUR problem, not the woman’s.

    I also think that insisting men be “cautious” around single women is a damaging testimony in light of the gospel. It’s not loving your neighbor as yourself. Single women aren’t threats; the sin in our hearts is the threat. Again, look at Christ… He ministered to a prostitute when extremely thirsty. Should I not expect to be able to or want to do the same?

    Sure, I have a serious duty to lead and protect my marriage. But that doesn’t mean I ought to act strangely around other women. I love my sisters, and I want to serve them as I would my wife, brothers, and anyone else. And in general I detect a tone of “men need to hold women at arm’s length” from this.

    Frankly, I think it’s a greater sign of maturity that men can interact with women on a biblical basis, because again…it’s not their fault if you can’t.

    What do you think Bryan?

    • Hey Justin,

      I saw that you commented and was interested to hear what you had to say. You did not disappoint.

      There’s no question, this is a hot topic with some sensitive points. I knew it going into it and have accepted the intense debate ever since. I think regardless of everyones good or bad opinions of this article, men and marriages have been changed and improved because of it. And with that being my main mindset, I feel I have represented Christ and our faith in a positive way. Let’s just say my goal wasn’t to be nice in this post, it was to be honest. The man who best displayed those traits was Jesus.

      I absolutely agree that the problem lies in the man, not the woman. Men have the problem or the lack of control and need to find ways to get themselves under control. Of course, not every man struggles with lust either, in which case this subject may not apply to him. And thats fine. Personally though, I have always been a very visual male. I have struggled with how to deal with women other than my wife and have suffered consequences for it. It took a lot of help from good Christian brothers and a forgiving Father to get my head on straight. And out of all of that came tools and ways I could use to keep me on the straight path. These tips are simply the things I do personally and they work.

      I think a lot of people choose to skip over the lines when I say to “be polite” and “don’t be rude”. I find it very easy to do these tips and still come across in a way that represents my faith. In most cases, there is no reason for my to stick around and shoot the breeze any longer with that given female. I keep moving.

      I would rather a married man stay on the side of caution than be unaware and fall into an unsuspecting trap or desire that he didn’t expect to have. And when it comes to service, I agree that we are to serve others in a Christlike manner. But I have no intention of serving other women, like the way I serve my wife. She has my heart, she is one with me and she received my vows. She comes first before any other woman. And if that means another woman’s feelings are hurt because of my first duty to my wife, so be it. She’s not my main responsibility, my wife is.

      Anyway, I have a feeling you and I could have some great debate on the topic. But our main concern should be to help lead men to better marriages and to Christ. And in doing so, we may have to hurt a few peoples feelings..

      By the way, if you’re ever game for writing a post for Manturity, I’d definitely be interested and help promote your work and site. Pray about it…

      • Hi Bryan,

        Glad I did not disappoint 🙂 Thank you for your response. I understand your perspective a little better now, even if there are some details I may still not see eye to eye on.

        I do want to be clear that I wasn’t trying to tear your article apart, not by a longshot. I’m sorry if others here have (not that I’ve looked, or even care). I absolutely agree that if something is causing a believer to sin, the believer has the responsibility to do whatever it takes to root it out. That comes straight from the mouth of Jesus.

        However, what I think is the “damaging testimony” as I mentioned before is if the believer doesn’t strive to reverse course. The truth is that we are saved in part so we will no longer sin. Of course we still will, but self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit. And self-control is truly a mental exercise, which is why ultimately you must change your thinking. I happen to be VERY visual, just like you, but God has been really challenging me to think rightly about women in general. That doesn’t mean I then stare at those wearing two-piece bathing suits, but every battle begins and ends in the mind.

        And when I spoke of serving my sisters, I didn’t mean to sound like married men ought to interact with other women in the same way they do their wife. I think that’s a big no-no as well. Christian men are not to “invest” in women like they would other brothers, but I do believe Jesus’ example teaches us to care about the lives of our sisters, to pray for them, and to talk to them just as they are, fellow human beings. I just don’t think it’s an excuse for us to avoid women just because they’re attractive to us. Do I mean disregard knowing that you struggle? No, but it’s not as though it’s more biblical to wait until a woman starts to become unattractive before you approach them as a person. In my church, for example, one of the elders often chats with teenage and young adult women, just to see how they’re doing. I love witnessing that.

        Either way, I actually wasn’t looking for a debate.

        And thanks for offering that I guest write. An interesting proposal that I’ll think about.

  • Baby

    I think this shouldn’t just be for when a married man is around single women. There are also plenty of married women out there that get tangled up with married men.
    Thank you for this list and for telling men to be MEN!

    • I agree! My new eBook has a chapter specifically related to relationships with other married women. I would encourage you to check it out and share it with some men!

  • Lee

    These comments are the best part. So despite a few than/then mix ups (pet peeve 🙂 ), thanks for starting the thought process and conversation.

    • My apologies Lee… I have been hit with your “pet peeve” a few times 🙂 I’ll be sure to check back on my grammar books. As a side note, I never planned on being a writer of any sorts, this has been all God’s idea. No laying blame, just clarifying 🙂 Thanks for always following and adding your thoughts.

  • GotstoBemoCareful

    It don’t stop single women that makes them want the married man even more, meaning he has a woman he ain’t ain’t gonna be around expect for when I need some

  • Kristin Walden

    I feel the general message is on point! How great to see fellas honor their wife and family! And what catches these men must be for every single lady to be after them. Sharks, those single ladies. Going after any man, single or married- no matter! Faithful and humble you are, sir. You must certainly be the bee’s knees if a few moments of extended eye contact with you causes women to abandon their senses so. As an unmarried woman myself, I tell you if a married man (all of them gems) were to lavish me with any long conversation or extended eye contact- I’m in! I send my harlot ways into overdrive! Standards be damned! A man is a man- us women here love em all, right?!

  • Cole Young

    Whether a man is married or single, treat all the women at work as one of three choices: your mother, your sister or your daughter. And talk about your wife. Wonderful article. I love my wife.

  • Anthony Flemons

    As a boss I find that it’s great to have a heart but always pass a female on to another female if she is upset or crying. You do not want to become a tower of strength for the women in your office as it relates to personal or private struggles. Get a trusted female to take over if it turns this direction.

    • Great insight Anthony. Thanks for sharing your scenario.

  • Kay Falterman

    I agree with everything listed but I also think its a shame that they are so drastically necessary. I think single women should also respect other people’s marriage. (Well relationships in general really)

    Yes there are married people who dont care they are married but I dont think it would be as big of an issue if there werent people actively enticing them to do so.

    (Just a personal opinion and mini rant)

    • Good rant Kay. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the subject.

  • Sam

    I am concerned that this article seems to imply that a relationship between a man and a woman can be one of two things; either sexual, or professional and shallow.
    I believe there is a third option that has been looked over in this simplification of humanity and relationships; that of true friendship.
    Not every single woman is looking to flirt with any man, be he single or married. Sometimes they are looking for friendship from people, regardless of gender.
    I absolutely agree everyone must take responsibility for their own actions and ensure that they do not do anything to betray the vows they have made to their partner. I disagree that this means men are incapable of engaged conversation with a person that could, potentially, find them attractive (or not).

  • Tracey

    This article comes off as misogynistic and insulting to single women. Perhaps some of us single women choose to be single rather than marrying someone with such antiquated ideas about gender roles. Careful married men, us single Jezebels are just sirens waiting to lure you to the rocks of marriage destruction.

    • Prophet George W Bush PBUH

      This IS a MAN’S site so a lot of the material is naturally going to sound misogynistic.

  • kristin

    This is SO helpful! Men, take this advice if you have compassion on women! There is nothing is more frustrating as a single woman than to be intrigued by a guy, look for signs of him already being taken, finding none, and then finding out weeks later that he’s married. I would NEVER want to even WONDER about the possibility of being with a married man…and it is so discouraging when you find out you’ve already done it by accident even after being cautious.

  • C redhead

    Please do not try and put every single woman out there under one category. When I read this, it made me very sad. I am a single girl, almost 30, and I would never pursue a guy who was married, or allow him to pursue me. These married girls have the husband, the house, the kids, the couples to relate to. A lot of times, they are the aggressive ones and they got what they fought for. It is single girls like us that are left out and ignored. We are quite lonely and it is hurtful to think that along with such painful loneliness, men around me would now need to avoid me some more. Well that makes me feel so much better now! Please, more isolation. Honestly I cannot get enough! I am reasonable like most people and realize the purpose of a discussion like this. I know there must be women out there who act hideous and men should be careful. But to the writer, perhaps describe what KIND of single girl you are implying versus every single girl in the world. How about “5 things every married man should do around pursuing women?” And remember, who said they had to be single in the first place? They could be married too! What is a person’s intent? Label those with bad intentions. Do not treat all of us out there with a ” ten foot pole” approach. After all, what have we done to deserve being single in the first place? We didn’t choose this. Please don’t choose to be unkind or cold to those of us who mean no harm to begin with. Thank you.

  • eVr0n

    I would add watching where you spend your time with the opposite gender. Those little alone moments where anything can happen are dangerous. Personally, just as one example, if I’m in need of an elevator and the only other person that I’m going to be on that elevator with is a woman who’s not my wife then I politely exuse myself and wait for the next one. It may seem extreme to some, but integrity is fidelity in the small things that no one ever sees.

    • A simple scenario could turn into a big problem. Thanks for adding your thoughts.

      • Guest

        It does seem extreme. You can’t even take an elevator ride with a stranger? That reeks of lust that is way, way too close to the surface, resulting in a ridiculous solution that amounts to avoidance which, in turn, compounds the problem. If ‘those little alone moments where anything can happen’ are that potent and that frequent, then I think we’ve all already lost.

    • Saphron218

      It does seem extreme. You can’t even take an elevator ride with a stranger? That reeks of lust that is way, way too close to the surface, resulting in a ridiculous solution that amounts to avoidance which, in turn, compounds the problem. If ‘those little alone moments where anything can happen’ are that potent and that frequent, then I think we’ve already lost.

      • eVr0n

        It’s not that I “can’t” take the elevator with a female, I never said stranger, It’s that I choose not to. As Christians the enemy has lots of ammo to use against us and precautions like these defuse those tools by creating a separation from even getting within a stone’s throw of adultery.

  • Kenni

    So with that being said, If a single women finds herself around a married man (that’s attracted to her) she should bring up his family. What kind of questions should she ask him to turn the conversation around so he remembers his family? I normally try to keep things work related but other conversation do come up.

    • Kenni, as the husband it is our responsibility to make sure the focus of the conversation doesn’t go where it shouldn’t. It is not up to her to make sure you marriage is protected, it is up to YOU. The married man should not be attracted to her in the first place…

      • Binta Sylla

        Firstly, Bryan, thank you so much for your article. I thought it was well written
        and to the point. After searching the internet for a very similar topic (What does it mean when the first thing out of a man’s mouth is to inform of his being married?), your article was by far the most closely related and actually USEFUL, providing incite and suggestions. And reading all the related comments, I want to say thank you to you and your posters for helping me to reaffirm, what I know: That it’s not ME. And as a previous poster said, single women are mostly pigeon-holed into “waiting-in-the-wings
        home wreckers, unlovable, dangerous, or social rejects” by couples. That perception won’t change as long as man remains imperfect.

        Secondly, I’ll try really hard to stay on topic and get to the point. I am a never-married-never-pregnant 39-year old woman. And I understand that this article is for MARRIED MEN interacting with SINGLE WOMEN.

        But I would be very interested in a follow-up/more developed article addressing a glaring, but relevant omission, as I see it: who’s starting the conversation?

        I don’t think I’m alone, here, but almost ALL and ANY interaction that develops into a conversation of any sort beyond ‘Hi’ and ‘Welcome’ that I have with a Christian man where I worship is because HE initiated. I may not have even greeted him, I may see him all the time and he and I may be working on a group assignment (group present and working), but it almost ALWAYS starts exactly the same:

        1. Salutation –or not
        2. “My wife…..
        3. I wait for a break in the rambling and make a polite exit.


        1. Salutation –or not
        2. Conversation initiated by man goes from 0-100 about irrelevant topic
        3. Interjection of “My wife….” In topic that I can’t even follow for being so confusing….

        4. I realize he needed me to know he was married…

        I generally don’t find myself to be a very physically attractive person and often thought I was somehow sending a signal that I somehow was interested, so I started IGNORING men in setting where this would happen.

        I also don’t think that men start talking to me because they think I’m attractive, so maybe their testing out these rules. I’ll have to find a clever way to ask.

        Because, it still happens. Posters on both sides here have varying opinions about whether men should follow the list or whether it’s necessary. I think it is. But it seems especially relevant when a man is initiating conversations with single women. Ultimately, there are socialization issues, most of which folks aren’t getting at home. That you can’t really address Bryan, I know.

        But fewer than 1 out 10 of all the men who are approaching me are men I don’t find attractive or interesting enough to even CONSIDER their marital status. So when they’re hitting me over the head with it in an uninvited, boring conversation, it over time has become offensive, and incites resentment and sarcasm in me, 2 qualities that not only have no place
        in the Christian congregation, but detracts from my fun-loving, happy self.

        I guess I’m saying that I can relate to the frustration of some of your younger
        female posters embarking on ‘full womanhood’ as single Christian women, which does feel VERY different from the Christian teen and early 20-something place in the congregation. As the late 20s and older don’t really get all the feel-good chats and gleaming smiles from ministers anymore, and they almost morph into whispers and side-eyes, unaware to the light-hearted, energetic woman who’s obviously putting the spiritual encouragement and direction to good use!

        Another commenter stated the predator/protector conflict. Men are to be pillars and can simply accomplishment what women can’t in their influence. I just can’t help wondering how often men would have this issue if they weren’t constantly approaching single women? CONSTANTLY

        I used to be so ashamed to admit that I love the freedom of singleness! I love it. I’ve mostly thought that marriage was designed for men, in the same way that Eve was created for Adam. Now, of course I love companionship and sexuality too, but it almost seems that initiators/predator/protectors, who
        resent my disinterest in conversation with them, wish to show me that because I’m single, I should be preyed upon or dominated somehow, even though they are the head some other woman…

        Where I worship there are tons of loving reminders for husbands [and wives] to be cautious of their behaviors respecting their marriage. And we ALL have an obligation to support marriages in following the PRINCIPLES behind the suggestions you provide.

        • Binta Sylla

          Bryan, I don’t intend to labor this point, as I do believe that men almost only provide information on a need-to-know basis when speaking with women. I get that. But seemingly many men who obviously use the list advise may somehow be misguided. For instance, I ran into an old class mate, I was so shocked to see. In hindsight, I realized that he saw me much earlier than I he. So how on earth he ended up standing right next to me, I don’t know, but I yelped his name, asked how he was and started talking a mile a minute. He curtly answered my questions and said, simply stated, “I’m married”. I cut the convo short and he left. I think that’s great. That was a successful execution. However, wouldn’t it have been much simpler to have left the library undetected, after all, my back was turned, intently concentrating when I glanced away from my work directly into his face –which means he obviously was staring at me. In my experience the many men informing me of their married status are actually going out of their way to get my attention in order to do so.

  • jon

    I am a married man who has always done this stuff without reading it first. I just wish my wife could see how good of a man I am to her.

    • Don’t give up hope Jon. Keep doing a great job protecting your marriage. Don’t forget that God see’s and is honoring your actions. You never know when she might notice it and realize what a great man you are.

  • Michelle

    This is quite possibly the most condescending thing I have read in a while. While you may not have “intended” it, your post comes off as trying to scare all men into steering clear of all the evil single women out there looking to ruin their marriage. I think this post arrogantly supposes that all single women are interested in every man they meet, married or not. Not true, buddy. I find it annoying when men bring up their girlfriend or wife all the time as a way to “signal” to me that they are taken. I’m not dumb, I know that’s what you’re doing. Ok, I wasn’t interested regardless. Posts like this make non-Christians roll their eyes at us. Just use common sense and your marriage will be fine. And please stop posting this crap. Single women are normal human beings just like everyone else. If you don’t get why women feel “shamed” by posts like this, you are completely clueless.

    • Michelle, I am sorry you feel this way about the article. The article is intended to give men some simple ideas on how to keep healthy boundaries in their marriage. With the divorce rate so high, I don’t think common sense is the best method. Instead, men can use these few ideas to build a stronger marriage.

  • Ooly!

    As a moral, attractive, always decently & nicely clothed, married woman–happily married for almost 27 years–I would like to add something that is probably “understood” but not stated here. Please be very careful how/if/when you touch a woman. Any woman.

    A handshake that unintentionally lingers can start problems… Hugs are another issue. Physically close prayer time can be vey intimate too and we must be very careful not to give the evil one any kind of hold!

    And yes, women must take responsibility in this too. We are all part of the Body of Christ and ideally we all work together to combat the wiles of the evil one.

    One soldier can almost never do as much as many soldiers fighting together united!

    On the other hand, you explained to me why I’ve felt shunned almost all of my life… Call me naive’ but I’m just now beginning to understand.

    Most women are afraid their husbands will find me attractive. Decent men are many times afraid to even look at me!

    Thank God for my own family and for women who will at least be friendly when their husbands are not around!!!

    • Ooly!

      Several corrections: I should have used the word “modest” in how I dress.

      And obviously–I hope–I am a Christian and spend most of my time around Christians.

      Final correction: physically close prayer can be *very* intimate, not *vey*. (I don’t know where that “r” went the first time–but I was able to hunt it down and bring it kicking and screaming and put it back into place! 😉

  • mi


    My Name is LOLI BENITEZ, I am From United
    Kingdom.i am hear to give testimony of how i got back my husband, we got
    married for more than 9 years and have gotten two kids. thing were
    going well with us and we are always happy. until one day my husband
    started to behave in a way i could not understand, i was very confused
    by the way he treat me and the kids. later that month he did not come
    home again and he called me that he want a divorce, i asked him what
    have i done wrong to deserve this from him, all he was saying is that he
    want a divorce that he hate me and do not want to see me again in his
    life, i was mad and also frustrated do not know what to do,i was sick
    for more than 2 weeks because of the divorce. i love him so much he was
    everything to me without him my life is incomplete. i told my sister and
    she told me to contact a spell caster, i never believe in all this
    spell casting of a thing. i just want to try if something will come out
    of it. i contacted Dr EKA for the return of my husband to me, they
    told me that my husband have been taken by another woman, that she cast a
    spell on him that is why he hate me and also want us to divorce. then
    they told me that they have to cast a spell on him that will make him
    return to me and the kids, they casted the spell and after a week my
    husband called me and he told me that i should forgive him, he started
    to apologize on phone and said that he still love me that he did not
    know what happen to him that he left me. it was the spell that Dr EKA
    casted on him that make him to come back to me today,me and my family
    are now happy again today. thank you Dr EKA for what you have done for
    me i would have been nothing today if not for your great spell. i want
    you my friends who are passing through all this kind of love problem of
    getting back their husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend to
    contact (dreka14demons@gmail.com ) and you will see that your problem will be solved without any delay.

  • mi


    My name is CONNIE CONCEPCION I am from United States, I was I a relationship with
    Ben and we loved and cherished ourselves for 3 good years and every
    thing was going on smoothly but February 14, 2012 a day I can call a
    lovers day we both had misunderstanding because I answered a call from a
    guy that is asking me out for a date but I refused, and he told me that
    the relationship is over and that he is fed up with me and I begged him
    because I love him so much but he refused me I was so down cast and I
    felt the world has come to an end for me but my friend told me about a
    spell caster that helped her sister out in getting her relationship
    back, a good job and favor in any of her endeavor but at first I was
    scared but I have to give this man a trial because I love Ben very much
    and I am not willing to loose him to any woman, so I ordered returning
    my love spell from this great spell caster that made me a happy woman
    again to say it all my ex came back to me with much love and a caring
    heart…i am testifying to this great spell caster DR EKA. if you
    need his help you can contact him on (dreka14demons@gmail.com)

  • mi

    Hello every one I have just met with this DR EKA of the (dreka14demons@gmail.com) and I finally find out that he is really a
    truthful spell caster and so powerful and he is the most powerful spell
    caster that I have ever met. I wish I have met him before. and my
    husband have just come back to me and every thing happened just the way
    he had said it I am so happy that I have met with him and now I have my
    husband back to my self. If you all that are here have not tried him you
    just have to do so and get your heart desires fulfilled. Stop been
    doubting I have tested him and I am now a fulfilled woman to my husband
    and we are so happy to be together once again. You can reach this spell
    caster if you need help at (dreka14demons@gmail.com) (DR EKA)

  • mi


    I wish to share my testimonies with the general public about what this man

    called DR EKA of (dreka14demons@gamil.com) has just done for me , this

    man has just brought back my lost family to me with his great spell, i was

    married to this man called James we were together for a long time and we

    loved our self’s but when i was unable to give he a child for 2 years he

    left me and told me he can’t continue anymore then i was now looking for

    ways to get he back until a friend of mine told me about this man and gave

    his contact email (dreka14demons@gamil.com) then you wont believe this when

    i contacted this man on my problems he prepared this spell cast and bring

    my lost husband back and after a month i miss my month and go for a test

    and the result stated am pregnant am happy today am a mother of a baby girl,

    thank you once again the DR EKA for what you have done for me, if

    you are out there passing through this same kind of problems you can

    contact he DR EKA today on his mail (dreka14demons@gamil.com)

  • mi


    i just want to say a big thank you to PROPHET OKPOBO for what he has done
    for me,He brought back the man i loved and cherish with all my heart,A
    man who left me for another woman for good 3years,with 2 kids,i just
    decided to check some spell caster’s But all kept deceiving me,Until i
    meant PROPHET OKPOBO,Who told me everything will be over i taught he was
    also a scam,until he told me that my ex will be back in 2days time.Am so
    grateful today that my ex is back to me and we are happy and he always
    wanna be by my side,I will advice you people not to fall in the wrong
    hands but to contact PROPHET OKPOBO who his trustworthy and straight
    forward,You can contact him via email (prophetokpobo1@gmail.com)

  • mi


    Thanks to (dreka14demons@gmail.com) for At last my happiness has been
    restored by a Man named Dr EKA ,, my name’s are MRS MARYJEAN i want
    every one on this site or forum to join me thank this DR EKA for what
    he just did for me and my kids . my story goes like this i was married
    to my husband for 5 years we were living happily together for this years
    and not until he traveled to Italy for a business trip where he met
    this prostitute who be witched he to hate me and the kids and love her
    only so when my husband came back from the trip he said he does not want
    to see me and my kids again so he drove us out of the house and he was
    now going to Italy for to see that other woman. so i and my kids were
    now so frustrated and i was just staying with my mum and i was not be
    treating good because my mama got married to another man when my after
    my daddy death so the man she got married to was not treating i and my
    kids well so i was so confuse and i was searching for a way to get my
    husband back to me and my kids so one day as i was browsing on my
    computer i saw a testimony about this MAN DR EKA of (dreka14demons@gmail.com) shared on the internet by a lady and it
    impress me too so i also think of give it a try at first a was scared by
    when i think of what me and my kids are passing through so i contact
    him and he told me to stay calm for just two days that my husband shall
    be restored to me and to my best surprise i received a call from my
    husband on the second day asking after the kids and i called Dr EKA
    and he said your problems are solved my child so this was how i get my
    family back after a long stress of brake up by an evil lady so with all
    this help from DR EKA of (dreka14demons@gmail.com) i want you all
    on this forum to join me to say a huge thanks to DR EKA and i will
    also advice for any one in such or similar problems or any kind of
    problems should also contact him for help

    Good bye

  • mi

    My name is Alex.I don’t believe in spellcasting not until i was
    introduced to a witch named DR EKA.My life was bullshit
    before i met he.My ex left me,having problems at my place of work.Then i
    got in touch with this DR EKA.he casted a spell.In less than 72hrs,my
    ex that had been long gone for 6months called me apologising.We got back
    together.Was also promoted at my place of work.I was shocked.All thanks
    to DR EKA.You all can get through to he through (dreka14demons@gmail.com) *HE BRINGS BACK LOST LOVERS IN 24hrs.
    IT MAKES YOU SWEET, WARM AND TIGHT. Once again,you can get through to
    her through (dreka14demons@gmail.com)

  • Bradley Speck

    Thank you for your article! It touches my heart deeply because I have recently went through something similar case .About 3 years ago my husband left me and 2 of our kids for 3years to another woman. During this years of our separation I was so broken, so I finally went to a friend of mine who directed me to a spell caster Dr. Akim who helps me in reuniting my family and then i felt peace and felt whole love again. After the casting of the love spell, My Ex-husband offered me a job, to work at his His company. so I obeyed and went. After working together in 1 week we had come closer & starting dating and hanging out as a family with the kids again, Dr. Akim has restored our marriage in a way I have NEVER expected, but I’m truly Thankful!

    Contact Dr. Akim today on: uniquelovespellcenter@gmail.com


    Best Regards,

    Bradley Speck Jones

  • mi

    I AM Johnbosco my
    husband dumped me 9(nine) months ago after I accused him of seeing
    another girl. I wanted him back in my life but he refused to have any
    contact with me. He changed his mobile number, blocked me from sending
    him mails and even on facebook. I was so confused and lost concentration
    that made me lose my job, it was disastrous. I kept seeing on several
    blogs how a spell caster keeps helping people get their ex back and I
    contacted this spell caster called Dr EKA for help, he assured
    me in 48hours that my ex will return to me, and to my greatest surprise
    my ex called me for the first time since we broke up. I am so happy that
    my love is back again, we are now happier than ever and I have gotten a
    job far better than my previous one, once again thank you Dr EKA, you are truly gifted and powerful. Email this wonderful man
    on; dreka14demons@gmail.com. He is the only answer to your
    problems. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing his
    name for the good work he did for me . again his email address is (dreka14demons@gmail.com)

  • mi


    Hello my name is UDO EUNICE from USA I never
    believe in love spells until I experience PROPHET OKPOBO, and after he
    cast a love spell for me and my Ex called me to apologize for the pain
    that she has caused me and till today we are living a happy family,if
    you need a right place to solve your problems contact (PROPHET OKPOBO)
    (prophetokpobo1@gmail.com) is the right choice. he is a great man that
    have been casting spells with years of experience, he cast spells for
    different purposes like:

    >(1)If you want your ex back.
    >(2) if you always have bad dreams.
    >(3)You want to be promoted in your office.
    >(4)You want women/ men to run after you.
    >(5)If you want a child.
    >(6)[You want to be rich.
    >(7)You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
    >(8)If you need financial assistance.
    >(9)Herbal care
    >Contact him (PROPHET OKOPBO) today on: (prophetokpobo1@gmail.com)

  • mi

    Hello every one, I really want to share my testimony to the hearing of
    the general public on this site about how DR EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com) helped me, December
    2013, I saw a post on a particular site shearing testimony on how the
    great spell caster brought back her ex who name is mike so I just see
    it common and i said let me see what will happen because my husband left
    me and my three kids for another woman just like that, i and my husband
    was married for six years living happily before i new what was going
    on, he left me and go for another woman so when i saw the post, i
    contacted the spell caster on his email and he told me i should not
    worry that my husband will come back to me in three days after once he
    finish casting the reunite spell and to my greatest surprise, i now have
    my husband back to me again and i want to use this medium to let every
    body know that this is real and if you are out there having this same
    problem please contact the great spell caster DR EKA on his email now because
    he can do the unexpected. his email is (dreka14demons@gmail.com) . I WISH

  • mi




    Every padlock from the river, break, in the name
    of Jesus.

    My reject every serpent and scorpion, in the
    name of Jesus.

    O lord let the rain of your healing power
    envelop my system, in the name of Jesus.

    Calabash of the strongman break in the name of

    My prayers stone what are you waiting for,
    strike the head of the goliath, in the name of Jesus.

    Powers of God arise by thunder; move my life
    forward, in the name of Jesus.

    Every cage of darkness breaks in the name of

    Every root of successful curses be uprooted, in
    the name of Jesus.

    I command every generational spirit to leave my
    life, in the name of Jesus.

    I command every stronghold of darkness in my
    body to dry up, in the name of Jesus.



    Most of the families are facing one marital problem or the
    other, my dear good people of God you need a prophet to stand for the (prayers)
    gap between you and your enemies.

    Disagreement between husband and wife, children and parent,
    broken homes, divorce .ETC

    Kindly contact PROPHET OKPOBO (prophetokpobo1@gmail.com) for your
    daily guides and protection.

  • mi

    Hi everyone act there.. my name is BRANDY ROSE. I AM FROM GERMANY i
    will never forget the help DR.EKA render to me in my marital life. i
    have been married for 5 years now and my husband and i love each other
    very dearly . after 3 years of our marriage my husband suddenly change
    he was having an affair with a lady outside,i notice it then i was
    praying for divine intervention the thing became more serious i told my
    pastor about it we prayed but nothing happen. my husband just came home
    one day he pick up his things and left me and the kids to his mistress
    outside at this time i was confuse not knowing what to do again because i
    have lost my husband and my marriage too. i was searching for help in
    the internet, i saw many people sharing testimony on how DR EKA help
    out with their marital problems so i contacted the email of DR EKA i
    told him my problem and i was told to be calm that i have
    come to the right place were i can get back my husband within the next
    24hours.he told me what went wrong with my husband and how it
    happen.that they will restored my marriage. to my greatest surprise my
    husband came to my office begging me on his knees that i should find a
    place in my heart to forgive him,that he will never cheat on me again. i
    quickly ask him up that i have forgiven him.friends your case is not
    too hard why don’t you give Dr.EKA a try they work surprises because i
    know they will help you to fix your relationship with your ex partner. i
    thank god for using DR EKA to save my marriage. contact him via

  • mi

    Good Day
    everybody, my names is SHINY JAZZY, am from the United State of America, i
    want to give thanks and honor to Dr. EKA for the great work he did for
    me, he brought my lover within 24 hour As which i never taught it will
    ever come through in my life, but this great man Dr.EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com) proved to me
    that powers can do wonders, i got his contact from a friend in the USA
    who he helped, this friend of mine told me that this man is great but i
    felt as hmm are you sure? cause i hardly believe those kind of things,so
    she told me not to worry that when i contact him, that she is
    guaranteeing me 100% that my lover will come back that if it does not
    work that she will be the one to give me back my money, to show her
    sincerity to me, she gave me her car that if it does not work that and
    she did not pay me the money that i spent that she i should collect her
    car and she gave me all the documents, i was so so surprised she was
    very serious about it so that was how i contacted him and i told him
    what i want he just told me that everything will be done within 24 hours
    so with the assurance my friend gave me i was having confident, so in
    the next 24 hours that he told me i just heard a knock on my door i
    never knew it was mark, so that was how i opened the door the first
    thing he did was to go on his knees, he started begging me to forgive
    him that he is very sorry for everything, i was really surprised and was
    also happy, so that was how i forgive him and now we are living
    together happily than ever before, and am using the media to invite my
    friends on my wedding which will coming up on 24/10/2014, am very happy
    be to Lucy who gave me his contact and honor be onto Great DR. EKA who
    helped a lot, if you need his help or you want to thank him for
    me you can contact him through (dreka14demons@gmail.com) . contact
    him(DR EKA)

  • mi

    Hello Friends, My name is JOYCE From South Africa, I want to
    use this medium to share with you about the Greatest Spell Caster i
    encounter DR EKA(dreka14demons@gmail.com), This i Promised him that i
    was going to do, By Telling the World about him through every possible
    medium. This Spell caster Broke the barrenness of 22 solid years, and
    also made my husband to come back to me. My husband left me before as a
    result of the fact that i could not give him a child, But when i met
    this Spell Caster. To my greatest surprise, Just as his words drops,
    That is how it works, I believed every drop of word from his mouth, and
    now i am a mother of 2 bouncing babies. You can also reach him via
    email, (dreka14demons@gmail.com)
    He does not waste time whatsoever he
    does. He always tell people, once you contact him DR EKA, He always say
    you have reach the final bus stop that will bring Solution to your
    problem. And just as he said, I JOYCE is a Living Testimony to that
    today… Do not wait for too long.

  • mi


    My name is MIKELINA,am from Canada. i want to use this opportunity to
    thank my great doctor who really made my life a pleasurable one today.
    This great man Dr EKA brought my husband back to me, i had a lovely
    daughter for my husband, about a years ago i and my husband has been
    into one quarrel or the other until one day he went to work and never
    came back. I felt my life was over and my daughter thought she would
    never see her father again, i tried to be strong just for my daughter
    but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was
    filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my
    husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would
    come back to me, until one day i met a good friend of mine that was also
    in a situation like me but her problem was her ex-boyfriend who she had
    an unwanted pregnancy for and he refused to take responsibility and
    dumped her. she told me that mine was a small case and that i shouldn’t
    worry about it at all so i asked her what was the solution to my
    problems and she gave me this great man email address. I had a little
    doubt if this man was the solution, so i contacted this great man and he
    ask me to give him some time that he will get back to me.He later reply
    and told me that he will help me bring back my husband. After three
    days my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out
    things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for
    forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this
    great spell caster (DR EKA) dreka14demons@gmail.com) did for me and my
    husband. I know they are people out there who are passing through the
    same problem you can contact this great doctor(DR EKA) via his email :

  • mi

    My name is BALIBIG MANILYN. i am from UK and i have an amazing
    testimony that i would love to share with you. I am Happily married to
    Dr. MANILYN with 3 kids. At the initial stage of my marriage to
    Dr. MANILYN, i was unable to conceive and this was a big problem
    to our marriage and i was at the verge of losing my marriage, my husband
    had filed a divorce. i was facing a lot of reproach from people around
    me. Later on, we got divorced and my husband was having an affair with
    another lady. I was frustrated because He was the man of my dreams and i
    had lost him to another woman! i was going through a lot of pains. i
    had sought medical assistance and treatment from major Hospitals in my
    country all to no avail!!! i was frustrated and for once in my life i
    had thought the world has come to an end for me.
    One day, on my way back from a Hospital, i stumbled across an old
    friend. she had laid a comment that i was looking pale. After giving a
    narrative of what had conspire in my marriage, she advised me to Contact
    a SPELL CASTER by name Dr. EKA. Initially i was reluctant
    but later succumb and decided to give it a try as she said that there
    be no complications in the spell casting. I contacted Dr. EKA via his
    email:(dreka14demons@gmail.com). i told him everything
    that happened in my marriage and He said that he help me. At first i
    did not believe. within 24 hours after he had coasted the spell, i
    received a call from my husband that He was very sorry for the way he
    treated me and for leaving me. It was like a fairy tale and it was like a
    dream. 2 days after the call, i had a knock on my door and when i
    opened, behold it was my Husband with a magnificent Rose Flower pleading

    with me to come back to him!! Within a week after my contact with Dr.
    EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com), we had re-married. i later contacted Dr.
    EKA in regards to the issue of my inability to conceive and he told
    me that i should not worry about that and that he would help me, he he
    coasted another spell. After sometime, i discovered that I WAS
    PREGNANT!!! i was so happy. Dr. EKA had saved my life and
    marriage. i am now happily married with 3 kids. thanks to Dr. EKA.
    Please Dr.EKA via his email: (dreka14demons@gmail.com) for solutions to
    your problems.

  • mi

    An amazing testimony on a spell caster who brought
    my husband back to me. My name is SILVANA SCHAFER
    And I’m happily married to a lovely and caring
    man,with three kids. A very big problem occurred in
    my family 4 months ago,between me and my
    husband. So terrible that he took the case to court for
    a divorce. He said that he never wanted to stay with
    me again,and that he didn’t love me anymore. So he
    packed out of the house to where i do not know about
    and made me and my children passed through severe
    pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back.
    After much begging,but all to no avail. And
    he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he
    never wanted to see me again. So on one afternoon
    when i came back from the house of my best friend. As i was
    coming back from her place, I saw an old friend of
    mine who asked of my husband. So i also explained
    every thing to her just the way i did to my best friend
    on what happened between me and my husband. So
    she told me that the only way i can get my husband
    back is to visit a spell caster. Because it has really
    worked for her. i never believed in spell
    casting,but during all this problem of letting the
    love of my life go just like that and the father to my
    lovely kids i had no other choice than to follow her
    advice. Then she gave me the email address of the
    spell caster whom she visited to solve her own problems. At
    this time i was full with so much grief and confusion
    on how this can really be true to the extent that i have
    to ask my friend so many question like if this is not to
    harm or have an effect on my life and that of my
    lovely children after it has been done. But she replied
    with so much seriousness by telling me that there is
    no harm and there is no side effect on the spell
    casting, That is just to get back my husband for my
    kids, and also for him to love me like never before.
    After her explanation that there is noting that will
    happen to us, other than to just get back my husband i
    requested on how i could i contact this great and
    powerful spell caster that she is talking about. She
    gave me his email address to me that i wrote down on a
    jotter and when i got home i emailed the spell caster
    with the following email address: (dreak14demons@gmail.com) after
    some few minutes that same day i received a form
    that i will fill and return to him. After that, i was asked
    to get some materials that will be needed to cast this
    spell that if i can not provide them i will send the cost
    which was what i did just to see the outcome of the
    spell casting. And before i send the cost of the
    materials to him he assured me that even that same
    day if he get the charges that my lover husband will
    return back within the next 4 to 5 hours time that same-day,
    after the spell has been casted with the materials, since i
    could not get the materials on my own to send to him
    to do the spell casting. The spell caster assured me
    that i will get my husband back after that process.
    What an amazing statement!! I never believed, So
    surprisingly after the 4 to 5 hours he told me i will get
    my husband back things changed in my life. My
    husband who has not call me for the past four months
    called me on the phone to inform me that he was
    coming back home. So Amazing!! So that was how he
    came back the next day with lots of love and joy,and
    he apologized for his mistake and for the pain he has
    caused me and my children. Then from that day,our
    relationship was now stronger than how it were
    before,by the help of a spell caster. So i will advice you
    all out there to kindly contact Dr EKA with the following (dreka14demons@gmail.com)

  • mi


  • mi

    My name is LEYVA NAFLILA, and I base in USA…My life is back!!! After 2
    years of Broken marriage, my husband left me with two kids . I felt like
    my life was about to end i almost committed suicide, i was emotionally
    down for a very long time. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr EKA,
    which i met online. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the
    internet,I came across allot of testimonies about this particular spell
    caster. Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some
    testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, some
    testified that he can cast a spell to stop divorce and so on. i also
    across one particular testimony,it was about a woman called
    Vannessa,she testified about how he brought back her Ex lover in less
    than 2 days, and at the end of her testimony she dropped Dr EKA, e-mail
    address (dreka14demons@gmail.com). After reading all these,I decided to give it a try. I
    contacted him via email and explained my problem to him. In just
    48hours, my husband came back to me. We solved our issues, and we are
    even happier than before Dr EKA, is really a gifted man and i will not
    stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man… If you have a
    problem and you are looking for a real and genuine spell caster to solve
    all your problems for you. Try DR EKA (dreka14demons@gmail.com)
    anytime, he might be the answer to your problems. Here’s his contact: (dreka14demons@gmail.com)

  • Frank Silver

    I never had it in mind that thing were ever going to come back to normal, My name is Frank Silver and i am so pleased to thank Dr Ekpiku for doing what he knows how to do best that is bring back lost lover. My lover and myself has some stress with each other and it let to our break up, After a while i was missing my lover and i needed Him back but he refuse to pick my call or reply my mails or test message. During my search on the internet i saw the details of Dr Ekpiku which were via email: Ekpikuspelltemple@live.com and i contacted Dr Ekpiku and by his help i was able to get my lover back within 48 hours. If you are having any stress in your marriage or relationship contact Dr Ekpiku today so that you can also testify of his powers

  • Michelle Morrison

    Go Google an article called “5 WAYS MARRIED MEN CAN ACT LIKE ADULTS AROUND WOMEN (SINGLE OR NOT)” by Luke Harms. Much better advice.

  • Callie

    While it is not your intent to diminish the value of women, your tips do exactly that. Limit eye contact? Bring up your marital status often? Don’t be rude as the standard for interaction? These behaviors are clear indicators to a woman she has been relegated to the “dangerous single woman” category.

    Since this article was written for a workplace context, I think it is also important to acknowledge how this arms-length treatment can limit female career advancement as well as hinder collaborative teamwork. If my boss cannot even maintain eye contact with me, that doesn’t bode well if I’m up for a promotion to be his deputy. If a colleague cuts conversations short or steers them toward his wife and family, can we effectively collaborate on work projects?

  • Mike

    Thanks to the person that wrote to the effect that you want to hang up a picture of your wife because you would miss her too much and you want to mention her in conversations since otherwise your conversations would be limited. That has helped me to handle a situation where a female colleague has shown interest in me. I may have encouraged a closeness when having non-work conversations with her. Nowadays I keep the communication to the areas related to business and I am careful about not being rude. At a recent meeting I was sitting at a chair distance and I felt her trying to get closer. I mentioned this to my wife and she advised me to avoid her. Since then I have chosen to sit farther away at meetings.
    And I do want her to advance in her career and I support her on that area, since our work collaboration is rather good. But when it comes to the sentimental side, I just keep myself to my wife.
    Just a final thought, I’ve found that praying ‘Hail Mary’ helps me when I notice my feelings going astray…

    • Thanks for adding your experience Mike. It sounds like you have had to establish some boundaries at your work place and they have worked. I think you nailed it when you said you don’t aim to be rude, but you must have boundaries and you ultimately need to keep your affection towards your wife only. Keep it up brother!

  • Ray

    Wow, the guys on this site must really lack trust in themselves. I have been married 33 years now to a wonderful wife. We trust one another.

    I have had many good friendships with both males and females, and have never felt that this was disrespectful to my wife. I have never felt the need to cut short a conversation for fear that it might lead to temptation, or weakness on my part.

    This article naively assumes that every female in the world is out to get me away from my wife. What utter nonsense!

    • Ray, thanks for your comment. So are you saying that through your 33 years of marriage, you never had to set up any boundaries for yourself or your marriage?

  • Athonwy Doherty

    The next time I need a perfect example of how religion is a form of mental illness, I am pointing them to this article. Thanks!

  • Anita Chowdry

    As a single professional woman, I must say there is nothing more tedious or offensive than a man who bangs on about his wife, or brings along a chaperone to protect his honour when he has business with you. I am not interested in hearing about your boring wife, or in meeting her; my time is too precious to waste on people I do not want to meet, and I find the chaperone extremely offensive. Added to that, how dare you be so vain as to assume that I want to make a pass at you, you silly little man! Are married men so emasculated that they are incapable of conducting autonomous interractions with other women? Have you submitted to being the slaves and possession of some insecure female that demands every part of your existence? For god’s sake, grow a pair!

  • Jennifer

    just keep your ring on. I get the drift after that. AND please make an article for single lonely predator men whom continue to stalk a woman at work just because he needs to fill the void.
    thanks bunches!

    • Jen, thanks for adding your comment. It did not get discarded per your other comment. As I continue to speak on the subject of relationships, I will do my best to offer men other options than stalking women. Most men don’t realize that the void they are trying to fill can only be satisfied through one relationship, the one of his and Jesus.

  • Jennifer

    WHY did my comment get discarded? wtf?

  • coffeegoddess75

    I’m so grateful to see a man being a man with values. As a recent victim of infidelity, involving my husband and a young single girl (by no means a woman) I really respect this so much and it gives me hope.

    • I’m sorry to hear about your situation, but appreciate you recognizing the need for this type of information to be available to husbands. I pray that God uses your hardship to help other couples and women, and leads you on a better path of life.

  • Thank you Tonya! I think a lot of people view this article in the wrong light, but as long as the points are handled with some sense and respect, they can help a marriage go a long way.

  • Kelly Moore

    I think it applies to married and single alike! If you are single and you are trying to have a respectful relationship, please do not feel like this article is accusatory! It’s not for you. It’s for the lonely and vulnerable or the one that wants what he or she can’t have because they are out there! Sometimes these people are obvious sometimes they are not so we all need to be careful, married or single you have to guard your heart!

    • Taj Khan

      Hi am single

  • Ann Cynthia

    Hi my name is Ann Cynthia from Nigeria and am a nice and single lady living alone, am nice decent and pretty and well educated girl, what I need is a good looking, highly educated and well established as a boyfriend, with whom I can enjoy every facility of life.
    drop your little details, so i need a guy whom know how to take care of a woman and know what the woman need at the right time and at the right place so if you are interested please contact me with my email address so that we can talk about more of each other here is my email address ann_cynthia002@hotmail.com.. love you.

  • Sheli

    This should be around any woman. I’m married but I know many affairs where they were both married. Temptation is everywhere. Thank you.

    • Agreed Sheli. My hope is that people can apply these ideas to whatever scenario that they need to. Thanks for adding your opinion.

  • Jody Thompson

    My husband is always careful not to close his office door when he is meeting with a woman. Also, even though it would save a lot of money and the ladies are much older than him, he doesn’t carpool to work. He will also call me if he gets an email from a lady friend whom he used to date. She is super sweet and I love her and her family. But to keep things in the open, he lets me know about the email and also forwards it to me. I am SO appreciative of his steps to avoid creating any misunderstandings.

    • Jody, thank you for sharing your experiences. Your husband sounds like a great guy and I’m sure this helps keep your marriage strong and secure. He sounds like he treats the women with respect through each circumstance, but also knows he needs to keep you informed. This is exactly the point I was trying to make in the article.

  • Strawberry

    If there is a single male christian trying to witness to a married woman would getting her number be appropriate to text her about Jesus without her husband knowing!! My boyfriend did this in our relationship, but also started going to the restaurant where she waitressed and was really looking nice for her as well even though her husband was there working!! I advised him to pray about texting her being she was a married woman!!! Was I wrong??? He started having feelings for her as well due to she was saying her husband was abusive to her!!! I don’t have to be right!!! Also he lied to me about his whereabouts and I even mentioned due to her being married maybe we both should go to the restaurant and witness to her!!! He has told her that he can’t text a married woman and would no longer be texting!!! I told him she would see Christ in him by telling her that please give me some insight about if this was christian council?

  • viyenoo

    The first thing that you all must understand is that the title of the article states “5 Things Every Married Man Should Do Around Single Women”. This article is to help that man who is biblically the head of household. Yes, we could see many variations of this article for married women verses single men, married men verses other married women. First and foremost, is your relationship with Christ. You cannot love and honor your wife appropriately if you do not have a reverence and right relationship with the almighty. Please know that no relationship can stand if God’s pure unadulterated love does not exist on a continual basis for both husband and wife. Many times we fail to keep God first dealing with the most inner parts of every situation. This is why Paul says he dies daily. A spiritual death to bitterness, lust, hate, resentment, dishonesty and whatever you can name. This article give great insight and practical matters to a healthy married. Keep God first and you will see it all work out. The Holy Spirit will guide you don’t ignore that you wonderful husbands and wives.

    • Thank you for sharing your thoughts as this was a great addition to the post!

  • just me

    I so agree with this! I was made to believe Im old fashioned and unfair. You could easily change husband for wife as i feel both shouuld live by these manners.
    My husband gets angry at me when I say I’m bothered with him sharing personal conversation with this “new female friend”. Starts loudly tell me how I don’t want him to have any new friends. I don’t have any problem with him having female friends. He has a few he had for years way before he met me ! I know them, they know me. They’re true platonic no strings friends. New female friends are ok too as long as they get introduced and its purely platonic sharing (let’s say shared hobby and thats all). However this “new one” is someone he briefly dated, no friendship after that, no mention of her at all. Out of the blue she sends a fb request and cares about how he is doing. He needs attention so bad he accepted and is now texting her about meeting up. I was not snooping, we were on his fb page talking to his mom and laughing at some pictures than at side I saw the text. Oh don’t even think questioning him….”If you accuse me I might as well” (and he claims he’s an empathy and loves me. Ha!)
    He also just seems angry with me lately. If I share my point of view I argue, if I disagree I argue, if I don’t immediately understand him: I don’t ever listen to him. Honestly anything I do or say is wrong and met with anger. Hardly any contact either, except when he’s drunk. We’ve been through a lot, I stick by him and he even with me if I truly needed him but for the most its been all about him. He has been in physical pain he claims, however all indicates its emotional even the doctors say this but he refuses to believe it.
    I fear this marriage is bleeding out slowly, and he too knows it so he’s looking for someone new than when he’s got her on his side he can end things. It is always his way or the high way. He’s always right. There’s no talking to him as he’s smarter and knows best, he even knows me better than I know myself (his believes) and let’s me know with every discission I make, anything I say or do. I don’t know what to do either seek counseling for myself as he refuses to go. Sorry for my rant, I was just going to say, I agree fully and it goes for both partners 🙂

  • Jason

    Another great post! I especially like number 3. I can’t tell you how many times women have taken eye contact the wrong way with me. Also, I tend to be a bit too friendly to basically everyone. I need to tone that down, especially around single women.

  • TheHonestRealTruth

    Well the real reason why there are so many Single women nowadays is that so many of them that now have their Careers today are so very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, and so very much money hungry which really speaks for itself why many of us Good men are still Single today since Most of the women out there now really want the Best of all and will Never Ever settle for Less which they’re really to Blame for many of us men why many of us still are Unfortunately. And many of us are certainly Not Single by choice.

  • Jennifer Alphonso

    I wish more men would be more faithful to the Word of God. I have always been put off with unwanted attention from married men. I’m 61 years old and never been married and still get irritated with so called godly Christian men who are married staring at me. I haven’t been born again to get into any sick relationship with married men. I’m looking to strengthen my walk with Christ and I don’t need any help from these men. My sisters in Christ are adequate for that purpose.

  • Sherry

    My girlfriend from high school recently found me on facebook and my husband and I seen her one at her house and then a second time she came over to our home. I told my husband before Denyce ever got here to NEVER hug her that I am trying to find out if I even want to be friends again as she had very loose morals in high school and also she was widowed 2 years ago. He Promised me he would Not Hug her. Well we all ended up for lunch and we paid for it. Then before she left I hugged her good bye and my husband wasn’t caught up to me yet when I turned around he was 30-40 feet behind me EMBRACING Denyce! My back was turned when they they were embracing and I have no idea Why he deceived me and Deliberately Lied by more than a even a hug Embracing body to body long and hard.. I turned around and seen all this. I began walking towards then then nearly caught up she went to her own car and he my husband said NOTHING! Needless to say I am still hurt and this was 6 months ago. We have been married 31 years..I had to explain to him why I was upset in the truck as he said I did Nothing Wrong. Oh I said Breaking a PROMISE this morning to NOT hug her I said You had NO Business even touching her she was my friend 40 years ago Not yours and Now I want to friendship wither her.I had to ask him to apologize even and it felt forced like he believes he did nothing wrong still..

  • Claim Proclaim

    On a different front, as a married woman, I struggle with single sisters from past stages of life who have not moved on experientially from being single and done the “leaving and cleaving” bit into their own family and matured that way. They tend to relate to me one-dimensionally and from what we had in common “back then” and have no real way of knowing that I really am NOT the same person anymore. Nor do they seem to “get” that the bonds of marriage are stronger than those of a sisterly friendship. It’s similar in some respects to the way many parents, even Christians, relate to their young adult child who has left home and is “becoming” a person whose life emanates from the parents but is now being enlarged into a bigger world and in a destiny that may not have been that of the parents and, by necessity, will take the child to places the parent may not be able to fathom or experience, even vicariously so.

    “Putting on” and “putting off” stages of life is “sticky”. I have even found single women friends now projecting onto me as a mother-rescuer role because they don’t have husbands…even trying to move into my family dynamic as if an adult child. I don’t find this would-be attachment healthy for them, me, or my family.

    If a couple is dating in the church and decides, after a season, they are not being called to marriage, they break up and move on without recrimination from the Body of Christ.
    I’d like to hear some teaching about “moving on” on friendships from seasons of life and hence friends STILL in that season (and not moving on). What’s going on is NOT a lack of reconciliation or hatred. There is a time, after all, to plant and a time to pluck up just is there is a time to be born and a time to die and to leave behind all earthly attachments.

  • Lkujat

    Is it ok for my husband to take women from his job home.