If God created sex and marriage; then gave us the book on how it works together, shouldn’t married Christians be having better sex than anyone else? I’ll let you think about that one for a few moments…
It’s not a secret that sex is a “hot” topic in today’s world and culture. On one hand, the world seems to push sex into every movie, TV show and magazine ad. On the other hand, the Church hardly ever talks about it. Is it really surprising to understand why sex is so misconstrued these days? Well, I hope to clear things up in this post.
I personally grew up in a household that was very strict on the topic of sex. Turn the channel if needed, close the magazine and by all means don’t talk about it! This, of course, made for an interesting few years at the start of my marriage. But God is good and He does reward patience. The five tips below come from the ups and downs of my own marriage and I hope that you leave this post with a renewed sense of your marriage and sex life. Now get reading…
Here are 5 ways you too can have amazing sex every week. (Tweet That)
1) BE MARRIED
You can call me old fashion, or even crazy, but married couples are the ones having the most satisfying sex. If you don’t believe me, start asking around. Marriage is essential for great sex because it establishes a solid foundation of trust. Real trust in a relationship allows for real openness and intimacy. Once both spouses are free to be open, the opportunity for great sex is released and well, it’s amazing!
2) GREAT COMMUNICATION
The best marriages are the ones where spouses have great communication with each other. This doesn’t mean there are never any issues or setbacks, but it does mean that they know how to work through them, resolve them and truly move on… Great communication is absolutely necessary for great sex – and not just in the bedroom, but all the time. As I have said in many of my marriage posts, she needs love and he needs respect. If you want to have great sex, LEARN HOW TO LOVE AND RESPECT EACH OTHER UNCONDITIONALLY! Start learning and practice raising each other up on a daily basis, rather then putting each other down. We always have to make a conscience choice when we respond, so make it positive.
3) MEET THE OTHER NEEDS
I recently wrote an article, “The 5 Big Needs of a Husband“, and I highly recommend you read and apply it to your marriage. You need to learn what your spouses needs are away from the bedroom, so that you have the opportunity to meet their needs in the bedroom. Your wife may like to keep the house clean, have a love note written to her on occasion, or she may like to get flowers just because. Men, if these are some of her other needs, than make notes or calendar reminders to do these things! Your husband may like to have the laundry done without asking. He may like sleeping in on the weekend or getting out with a buddy once a month. Ladies, if these are his other needs, than strive to make some of those things happen. Make it a point to serve your spouse and meet their other needs. This can only result in a stronger relationship and, yes, amazing sex.
4) FLIRT OFTEN
Take a minute and go back to the early days of your relationship – maybe before you were even married. Remember the excitement and the feelings that you had with your partner? Get back to those days by doing little things like cute text messages, random smooches, occasional teasing, long hugs and surprise date nights. These little things are not very hard to do, but you have to be intentional about doing them daily. After our long workdays, it’s easy to bring work home and be a grump; but instead of doing that, leave work at work. Make the time you have with your spouse and family enjoyable and fun. Keep flirting, keep dating and keep the fire alive!
5) MAKE THE TIME
To be honest, you could do all of the things listed above and not get anywhere. Without making the time to be alone with your spouse all your efforts could be in vain. Depending on schedules, kids and other time thieves; you may need to make it a point to schedule the time out on a certain night of the week or at a certain time on the weekends. Sometimes you may have to sacrifice some sleep in order to be intimate. The point is, great sex requires a solid block of time and you have to be intentional in making sure this happens.
My prayer and hope is that this post helps you and your spouse have great sex every week. If your marriage is struggling, read this post together and agree to make the necessary schedule changes to make this a priority!
What has worked or hasn’t worked in your own marriage to help make sure you have a great and consistent sex life? I’d love for you to share your ideas or experience in the comments below.